In class I am reading Because of Winn Dixie with my seven and eight year olds. This past week we were introduced to the “Littmus Lozenge,” a candy flavored with sorrow. The main character observes that it is a lot like life, how the sweet and the sad all mix together. I could imagine the taste myself as my three students solemnly nodded their heads in agreement, they knew well what it meant to taste sorrow. Amidst their joy, goofy grins, and constant horseplay, they have walked through a lot in their short lives. They have walked through a lot this past month. In the past few weeks they have had to say goodbye to well loved friends, and try to comprehend a terrible death. Both gut wrenching. Both intermixed with the joy of past memories and the hope that we will see them again, be it here or in heaven.
I am so grateful for the sweet side, it carries us through the worst of situations. One of the Hausa names for God is Mai Tsarki, the owner of sweetness {CORRECTION: I was recently informed that Tsarki is holy and Zaki is sweet, whoops, I'm sure holiness is sweet too}. I love that. Our God is the owner of sweetness, all things good and beautiful. Our brokenness brings sorrow, deep sorrow, but the Owner of Sweetness has promised good gifts to his children, he has promised a future and a hope, a brand new kingdom, one were sorrow is no more. I cling to that truth.
I cling to that truth because the more deeply I live, the more pain I open myself up to. Every day I see and experience more of life, I may not understand it but I live in the midst of it. I see more beauty, and more ugly. I have tasted the sweetness. I know what it should be. And yet so often it is not.
I cling to that truth when I think of my sister. She turns twenty two today. Her life has been marked deeply by sorrow, but all I see when I look at her is sweet joy. Her smile is evidence of Mai Tsarki in my life. As I celebrate her today I smile broadly, and I cry. I cry for what she will not experience, she is so sweet and beautiful, she is twenty two. She should be finishing college, chasing her dreams, and falling in love. She will never do any of those things. Instead she sits at home, patiently waiting for someone to come be with her, someone who will cuddle her, laugh with her, and be incredibly touched and blessed by sitting in her presence for awhile. I miss that daily blessing, the sweetness of her morning smile, her laugh, and the way her hand grips so tightly around mine, the assuring pressure that she will never let go. I miss you baby girl, mi querida hermanita. You flavor my life with the sweetest sorrow.
I cling to that truth, that the Owner of Sweetness reigns. I cling to it for my future, for hers, for yours. I will put my trust in Mai Tsarki.
I am so grateful for the sweet side, it carries us through the worst of situations. One of the Hausa names for God is Mai Tsarki, the owner of sweetness {CORRECTION: I was recently informed that Tsarki is holy and Zaki is sweet, whoops, I'm sure holiness is sweet too}. I love that. Our God is the owner of sweetness, all things good and beautiful. Our brokenness brings sorrow, deep sorrow, but the Owner of Sweetness has promised good gifts to his children, he has promised a future and a hope, a brand new kingdom, one were sorrow is no more. I cling to that truth.
I cling to that truth because the more deeply I live, the more pain I open myself up to. Every day I see and experience more of life, I may not understand it but I live in the midst of it. I see more beauty, and more ugly. I have tasted the sweetness. I know what it should be. And yet so often it is not.
I cling to that truth when I think of my sister. She turns twenty two today. Her life has been marked deeply by sorrow, but all I see when I look at her is sweet joy. Her smile is evidence of Mai Tsarki in my life. As I celebrate her today I smile broadly, and I cry. I cry for what she will not experience, she is so sweet and beautiful, she is twenty two. She should be finishing college, chasing her dreams, and falling in love. She will never do any of those things. Instead she sits at home, patiently waiting for someone to come be with her, someone who will cuddle her, laugh with her, and be incredibly touched and blessed by sitting in her presence for awhile. I miss that daily blessing, the sweetness of her morning smile, her laugh, and the way her hand grips so tightly around mine, the assuring pressure that she will never let go. I miss you baby girl, mi querida hermanita. You flavor my life with the sweetest sorrow.
I cling to that truth, that the Owner of Sweetness reigns. I cling to it for my future, for hers, for yours. I will put my trust in Mai Tsarki.
I remain confident in this:
I will see the goodness of the Lord
in the land of the living.
Psalm 27:13
I will see the goodness of the Lord
in the land of the living.
Psalm 27:13
Happy Birthday to my sweet little lamb, my baby girl, my darling, I love you!!
Thank for teaching me what it means to love unconditionally and sacrificially, to find joy in the worst of situations, and to be content with what I have. I am so glad I get to be a part of your life!
Thank for teaching me what it means to love unconditionally and sacrificially, to find joy in the worst of situations, and to be content with what I have. I am so glad I get to be a part of your life!